My Imperial Advisor is ChatGPT

Chapter 63 The Correct Way to Eat Deep-Fried Scorpions, and "Steampunk" in the Desert

The night was as dark as ink, and the flames soared into the sky.

The Qin army camp by the Red Willow Spring had now transformed into a bizarre and grotesque battlefield. Countless fist-sized black scorpions, brandishing their blue-glowing pincers, surged across the sand dunes like a black tide, attempting to engulf the steel convoy.

"Zzz—Boom!"

Liu Bang stood on the roof of an armored vehicle, holding a huge spray nozzle in his hand—a tool used to paint carriages, now filled with the "Xianyang Special Supply Floral Water" he had brought (which was actually high-concentration alcohol with a little peppermint oil).

He suddenly sprayed a puff of water at the swarm of scorpions climbing up, and Fan Kuai, standing beside him, moved closer with a torch in perfect coordination.

A fire dragon carrying the refreshing scent of mint roared out.

"Burn you legless crabs to death!" Liu Bang cursed as he sprayed water. "My floral water is for noblewomen to wipe their faces, but now I'm using it to bathe you! What a waste! What a huge waste!"

The scorpions that Zhao Cheng had carefully cultivated, though ferocious, were still carbon-based life forms. Under the dual impact of high temperature and alcohol, they emitted a chilling crackling sound, and the acrid smell in the air grew stronger, even overpowering the original stench.

Xiang Yu, on the other hand, was even more straightforward and brutal.

He disdained using fire. He held two spare steel plates salvaged from the wheels and swatted at them with both hands, like swatting flies.

"Slap! Slap!"

With each strike, several scorpions were smashed into a pulp.

"Too slow!" Xiang Yu wasn't satisfied, so he jumped off the chariot and stomped his feet repeatedly, carving a bloody path through the swarm of scorpions. The soles of his iron boots were sizzling from the venom, but he didn't care.

"Don't panic!"

Ying Zheng's voice rang out through the large tin megaphone in the chaotic camp, carrying a reassuring calmness.

"Disciples of the Mohist school, heed my command! Activate the 'high-pressure steam pump'!"

"Spray out all the hot water we haven't finished drinking!"

Besides floral water, the Qin army also had a powerful weapon in their hands—a modified locomotive boiler.

As the valve opened, scalding high-pressure steam mixed with boiling water swept across the densest area of ​​the scorpion swarm, like a white fan.

This method of "boiling live scorpions" is more deadly than burning them. The steam penetrates every nook and cranny, instantly scalding the scorpion's internal organs.

Half an hour later.

The black tide finally receded. What remained was a ground littered with scorpion corpses, layer upon layer, a thickness of about half a foot.

The crisis is over, but new problems have arisen.

food.

Due to the forced march and being besieged, the Qin army's rations were running low. Looking at the dead scorpions scattered on the ground, many soldiers clutched their stomachs, their eyes gleaming with rage.

"Your Majesty, this...is this thing edible?" Hu Hai picked up a half-cooked scorpion with two fingers and asked with disgust, "It looks disgusting, like it's poisonous."

Xia Wuqie walked over carrying a medicine box, and poked the scorpion meat with a silver needle in his hand.

"Your Majesty, the poison is all in the tail stinger. The high temperature has destroyed most of the toxins."

Xia Wuqie hesitated for a moment, then tore off a piece of tender white scorpion meat, put it in his mouth, and chewed it.

Everyone was staring at his throat.

"Hmm..." Xia Wuqie's expression changed from resigned to death to thoughtful, and finally to surprise.

"Chicken flavor! Crunchy!"

"Your Majesty, although this creature may look ugly, its flesh is firm and rich in... what's it called, 'protein'? It's a highly nutritious food!"

Upon hearing this, Ying Zheng strode forward.

As an emperor, he should have been meticulous about the finest food. But at this moment, he was the soul of this army.

He picked up a scorpion that had been roasted with Liu Bang's floral water; it had a minty flavor.

Ying Zheng remained unfazed, pinched off the tail, threw the shell and meat into his mouth, and chewed vigorously.

"Click, click."

The sound was exceptionally clear in the deathly silent camp.

Ying Zheng swallowed it and wiped the grease from the corner of his mouth.

"Pass on the order."

"The whole army should light fires and cook."

"There's only one dish on the menu tonight: deep-fried scorpions."

"Since Zhao Cheng brought us a midnight snack, let's not be polite. We need to eat our fill so we'll have the energy to smash his pot tomorrow!"

……

That night, a strange aroma of meat wafted through the air near the Red Willow Spring.

What was originally a terrifying biological weapon became a feast for the Qin army to replenish their strength.

Liu Bang even demonstrated his business acumen by having people collect scorpion shells.

"This is a treasure!" Liu Bang said to Xiao He. "The shell is hard and can be used in medicine. Bring it back to Xianyang, grind it into powder, and call it 'Western Region Divine Dragon Armor,' a special remedy for bruises and sprains. One tael of gold per packet!"

Looking at Liu Bang's greasy mouth, Xiao He sighed helplessly: "Liu Ji, you really are... able to make a fortune wherever you go."

……

The next morning.

After a hearty meal, the Qin army set off again.

After a night of rest and a "high-protein" supplement, the soldiers' morale was high.

After the Mo family worked through the night to repair them, those armored carriages were brought back to life.

However, as they ventured deeper into the Gobi Desert, a new and more severe challenge emerged.

Mechanical failure.

"Click...click...creak!"

With a piercing metallic crack, the command vehicle in which Ying Zheng was located jolted and came to a sudden stop.

"What happened?" Ying Zheng steadied himself and asked in a deep voice.

The Mohist disciple in charge of vehicle maintenance crawled under the vehicle, sweating profusely. He climbed out a moment later, his face pale.

"Your Majesty, the tracks... are broken."

"The sand here has a very high alkali content, and with the high temperature and friction, the iron chains and eucommia rubber belts we used to connect the wooden planks are all worn out."

Ying Zheng got out of the carriage to check.

Sure enough, the simple track had broken into several pieces, the rubber was old and cracked, and the iron rings were worn thin as cicada wings.

This is the limit of materials science.

In an era without synthetic rubber and high-strength alloy steel, the idea of ​​building a "tank" capable of long-distance trekking in the desert was simply a pipe dream.

"What about spare parts?" Meng Tian asked.

"It's gone too. The losses along the way have been too great."

The convoy came to a stop in the vast Gobi Desert. There was no village in sight, no shop in sight. If the vehicles couldn't move, they would become sitting ducks.

"Little G," Ying Zheng said anxiously, looking at the broken track, "is there any replacement?"

"Your Majesty, this is material fatigue."

If rubber is unavailable, you will need a readily available lubricant or adhesive to repair these belts.

【or……】

Do you remember the "black oil" we discovered before?

Ying Zheng was taken aback: "Fire oil?"

Yes. Crude oil contains a large amount of bitumen.

If you can boil crude oil to extract asphalt, and then mix it with sand and cotton wool, you can make a kind of "homemade tire repair glue".

Although not as elastic as rubber, it is sticky and hard enough to forcibly glue broken belts together, stretching them all the way to Dayuan City.

"Boil in oil?"

Ying Zheng glanced at the few remaining barrels of burning oil on the cart, which were originally intended to be used to burn the enemy.

"it is good."

"Then let's cook it."

"Zhao Gao!"

Zhao Gao was picking his teeth in the shadow of the carriage (he had a scorpion shell stuck in his teeth) when he heard the shout and quickly rolled over.

"This servant is here."

"You're back to your old tricks." Ying Zheng pointed to the barrels of oil. "Set up the pot. I want you to refine 'Heaven-Mending Glue'."

Thus, in this desolate desert, Daqin staged a unique "industrial emergency repair".

Thick black smoke billowed out, and a foul stench filled the air.

Zhao Gao and the craftsmen endured the high temperatures to boil crude oil into viscous asphalt, which they then mixed with shredded wool felt and fine sand.

This dark, sticky substance was applied to the broken track joint while it was still hot. After cooling, it became as hard as stone, yet retained a touch of toughness.

"It moved! It can move!"

Everyone breathed a sigh of relief when the repaired tank started turning again.

Although the wheels became more bumpy and the black rubber emitted an unpleasant smell, it did indeed carry the Qin army, step by step, closer and closer to the heart of the enemy.

……

Dawan Kingdom, Guishan City.

This fortified city in the Western Regions had now become Modu's stronghold. Wolf-head banners were planted all over the city walls, and countless Xiongnu cavalry patrolled outside the city.

Inside the palace, Maodun was listening to Zhao Cheng's report.

"Failed?" Maodun toyed with the Woolstone knife in his hand, his voice unreadable. "Tens of thousands of scorpions, just...eaten by them?"

Zhao Cheng knelt on the ground, cold sweat pouring down his face: "Great Chanyu, the Qin people... the Qin people are so uncivilized! They even eat insects! And they have those strange fire-breathing chariots..."

"That's enough," Maodun interrupted him.

I don't want to hear excuses.

Maodun stood up and walked to the map.

"The Qin army has reached 'Soul-Severing Valley,' which is the last checkpoint on the way to Dayuan."

"The terrain there is narrow, with quicksand on both sides."

"Mr. Zhao, your 'landmines' are useless, and your 'poisonous insects' are useless too."

"Now, I'm going to do it my way."

Maodun suddenly drew his scimitar and slashed it across the map.

"I will use the 'wolf pack' to bite them to death in the Valley of Broken Souls."

"Pass on the order!"

"Transport all the oil from Dayuan to the Valley of Broken Souls."

"This time, I won't burn people."

"I want to burn the ground."

……

Two days later.

The Qin army finally arrived at the Valley of Broken Souls.

This is a long, narrow canyon stretching for ten miles, flanked by towering sand dunes, with only a narrow passage in the middle that can barely accommodate two chariots side by side.

"Your Majesty, be careful, it might be a trap." Meng Tian reined in his horse. "The terrain here is treacherous. If the enemy blocks both ends and then sets fires..."

Ying Zheng sat on the roof of the command vehicle, observing the area ahead through binoculars.

Quiet. Too quiet.

There wasn't even a bird.

"Xiang Yu!" Ying Zheng called out.

"exist!"

"Take a few men and go scout ahead. Remember, don't go on the ground, go on the surface."

Ying Zheng pointed to the tops of the sand dunes on both sides.

Xiang Yu accepted the order and, with a few agile guards, abandoned the chariot and climbed the sand dune.

A moment later, Xiang Yu sent back a signal: Safe. No ambush.

"No ambush?" Ying Zheng was even more puzzled.

Did Maodun go to all this trouble to lure them here just to let them see the scenery?

"Keep moving forward. Stay alert."

The convoy slowly drove into the canyon.

When the convoy reached the center of the canyon, a sudden change occurred.

It was neither an ambush nor falling rocks.

Instead... the ground beneath our feet has changed.

The once hard Gobi Desert suddenly became soft. The tracks of the lead vehicle suddenly slipped, and the vehicle lurched downwards.

"The car is stuck!" the driver shouted.

Before anyone could react, a pungent smell of oil wafted out from underground.

"This is..." Zhang Liang jumped off the car and grabbed a handful of soil.

That was black sand. Sand soaked in oil.

"Oh no! This is an 'oil marsh'!" Zhang Liang exclaimed in alarm. "Modu has replaced the groundwater here with oil!"

Just then, countless Xiongnu people suddenly appeared on the tops of the sand dunes on both sides.

They did not shoot arrows or throw stones.

What they threw down were burning torches.

"boom!"

The moment the torch hit the ground, the entire canyon floor was like a lit fuse, instantly turning into a sea of ​​fire.

This is not an ordinary fire. It's oil seeping from underground and burning.

The Qin army's convoy was engulfed in flames. The rubber tracks began to melt, the wooden planks began to burn, and even the steel hulls were glowing red-hot.

"Your Majesty! Retreat immediately!" Meng Tian roared, "The carriage is doomed!"

Inside the carriage, the temperature rose rapidly, turning it into an oven.

Ying Zheng looked at the sea of ​​fire outside the window, but showed no panic whatsoever.

"Retreat? Where to retreat to?"

"Since they want to burn, let them burn as much as they want."

Ying Zheng suddenly pulled open the carriage door and jumped out.

"All engineers! On command!"

"Bring out all the remaining explosives from our vehicle!"

"What are you doing?" Zhao Gao screamed, clutching his head. "Your Majesty, what time is it? Why are you still going to blow it up?"

"Yes! Just blast it!"

Ying Zheng pointed to the sea of ​​fire beneath his feet.

"Little G said that the best way to extinguish an oil fire is not water, but 'suffocation'."

"Use the shockwave of the explosion to blast away the oxygen! Blow out the fire!"

"This is a crazy gamble."

"Zhao Gao, Zhang Liang! Calculate the location! Set up a 'reverse explosive formation' around my convoy!"

"Three! Two! One!"

"Detonate!"

"Boom! Boom! Boom! Boom!"

Dozens of explosive charges exploded simultaneously around the convoy.

A massive shockwave instantly swept through the canyon.

A miracle happened.

The raging inferno was instantly extinguished, as if by a giant hand. The vacuum created by the explosion cut off the oxygen supply, while the massive amount of sand that flew up acted like a blanket, firmly suppressing the remaining flames.

The fire is out.

Although the air still smelled of burning, and the convoy was covered in dust, they survived.

Modu, perched atop the mountain, watched this scene and dropped his binoculars to the ground.

"This...how is this possible?"

"Using explosives to put out a fire? What kind of sorcery is that?"

He felt a profound sense of powerlessness. Faced with this unpredictable opponent, every one of his schemes seemed to have become a joke.

"Great Chanyu, what should we do?" his subordinate asked in a panic.

Maodun gritted his teeth, a hint of madness flashing in his eyes.

"Since tricks and schemes won't work, then... let's face it head-on."

"Order! All troops to assemble!"

"Form ranks at the exit of Soul-Severing Valley!"

"I will use my 100,000 iron cavalry to crush this exhausted Qin army head-on!"

……

The canyon exit.

The Qin army finally broke out of that deadly trap.

Although the vehicles were badly damaged and the soldiers were exhausted, their eyes burned with the flames of revenge.

Ahead lay a vast plain.

On the plains, a dark mass of Xiongnu cavalrymen were already arrayed and waiting.

That was Modu's entire fortune. A hundred thousand troops, equipped with stirrups, scimitars, and even a small number of firearms—a "new type of Xiongnu."

The two armies faced off.

The sandstorm gradually subsided.

Ying Zheng stood on the command vehicle, which had been burned black, and drew the Tai'a sword.

Xiang Yu, carrying the "Breaking Formation" sword, stood at the forefront, while the eight hundred "special forces" behind him had already changed into heavy armor.

"Your Majesty, how should we fight?" Meng Tian asked.

Ying Zheng looked at the enemy formation opposite him, which stretched as far as the eye could see, and a slight smile appeared on his lips.

"Did they think we were at our last gasp?"

"Tell them that the word 'tired' does not exist in the dictionary of the Great Qin."

"Open the remaining carriage of the 'Black Dragon'."

"Show them the final, grand gift I have prepared for Maodun."

With a command given, the side panel of the last sealed carriage slowly opened.

There were no soldiers inside.

There was only one huge thing covered by a black cloth.

The moment the black cloth was lifted, sunlight shone on the object, reflecting a chilling metallic gleam.

That was a...

Multiple rocket launcher?

No, that's the Mohist school's latest development—the "Divine Fire Flying Crow" swarm launcher.

Although it was the original version and its accuracy was appalling, it could launch thirty-six rockets carrying gunpowder and toxic smoke at once.

"ignition!"

Ying Zheng pointed his sword.

"Let the skies of the Western Regions witness the meteor shower of the Great Qin!"

"Whoosh whoosh-!"

Dozens of fire dragons roared out, trailing long flames, tearing through the sky and crashing down on the Xiongnu's formation.

The final battle has begun.